Okay so I'm 42, and you're a couple of years younger than me, and you just had a birthday.

Shouldn't we have lives by now? - Mirage

I am looking forward to killing a hooker today. - A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Unlike MrOodles, I have remained faithful to Nintendorks and always kept it as my homepage, even through all the time it wasn't updated. - Hungrywolf

Bitch dis is da Negro Leagues. - Da Black Babe Roof

I asked my older brother about Ace Frehley and he said that he plays music old people like. - Kid A

I went to the library and got a book... and a Radiohead CD! - tomspug

Well in a truely non-nintendork moment, rather than lazily search youtube for a clip, I made and uploaded my own. It's a shitty low quality mpeg but it gets the point across.

I should have put 2 minutes of intro and 5 minutes of credits, all over Drowning Pool and KoRn songs to make it like so many other youtube offerings. - dookie

It's come to my attention that Canada has a strip club by the name of Club Supersex. So the next time someone tells you they're moving North to protest the war or get free health care, they're probably lying. - ineptitude

Mario Kart is out and I just turned in my student's grades for the semester, thus marking the start of my summer. Coincidence? I think not! - Bmano

I realize that this is probably the last place I should turn for serious advice about depression and suicide, but for whatever reason this was my first inclination and I am curious if you are familiar with such thoughts and if you have any advice. I will not be offended if you decide not to respond to this drc, because I realize it is not very funny. - an attendant lord

I went back to Tech last weekend and hit up the Cellar because it's one of the few places you can actually sit and talk AND hear people. Unfortunately, the bar tender was a taintface and the Irish jugabilly band was too much washboard playing for my likes, but we had fun regardless. - nsavagedx

My professor assigned a 3 paged analysis of the importance of setting in the story "Greasy lake". Only 2 pages are about setting really, or at least why it’s important.

Do you think a page and a half is long enough?

...where it counts? - rbtr

Did I send in a drc last time and you just chose to ignore it or did I just not send one in. I can't remember. I would hate to say the same thing twice. - Trekridr

Am I the only person in the world who despises the Resident Evil series? Shitty controls, idiotic save system, puzzles that were designed for 'tards, asinine item management system, B movie storyline, generic characters, and a reliance on cheesy scares over fun gameplay all make this one of the crappiest, most overrated series ever made. - A Guy Who Hates Resident Evil

I live in Falls Church and am not a minority. Now can we be friends? - The Rinker

Aha! I found the secret flower on the front page. - Brubaker

Did you know that some heroin addicts will scour the sides of highways in search of urine bottles, and the drink said urine in hopes of getting high off of it? The things Val Kilmer can teach you. Its really amazing.

I'm really wishing I had either a PS3 or 360 right now. - DigDug

You know what's funny about this?

The year after I stop updating that giant video game code thing... you guys return.

I'm worried as to what will happen when I finally update it later this year. - DavidDayton

Is it just me, or does Mario Kart Wii feel like it was rushed to the market? It is easily the least polished Mario game I've ever played, and the more I play it, the more obvious it seems to me that this game was released before it was ready.

I still likes it though. But I could've liked it more. - EnviousThought

Does a beer at 4AM count as breakfast beer? - Klewi

Any opinion on Los Campesinos!? - hipster

Good news: I bought Mario Kart Wii for my 3-year-old's birthday. Bad news: Birthday party, and opening gift time, won't be until 8 days from today. Worse news: He may be better at it than I am. - CNE

Grandma's visiting, so in addition to vacuuming ceaselessly for a week before she came, my mom continues to vacuum day and night--in a crazed sort of effort to show her mother that she keeps a good house. Which is not true. But the vacuum is loud as hell, and I need a way to cope with this. - Villian on the Cover

Would you rather have a Pegasus that can't fly or a blind unicorn? Note: The Pegasus still has wings, but they are just for show. - Mark

I want to teach my daughter the wrong names of colors so people will think she's color-blind. Does that make me an asshole? - SerratedEdge

5-word review of The World Ends with You (DS):

Best DS game. Orgasmic-good story.

4 extra words:

Go fucking buy it. - Magihiro

Well, Brandon. We now have GTAIV. I think it's beautiful. I am, however, saddened that I haven't played much multiplayer with you, yet. But, as with most games, I like to clear (or at least get pretty far into) the single-player mode first. So, tell me, Mr. Dehart: Is it everything you'd hoped it would be? - SquirrelGOD

"Out of Reaches" and "Elmo Delmo" are two of the best songs Stephen Malkmus has recorded in his entire life.

Thanks to this most recent album, he can officially be embarassed by his last three solo efforts. - Ray64

Haiku's are Easy
But they don't always make sense
Refrigerator - Pika-pimp

An update from Duckhammer:

Greetings Nintendorks! You'll all be glad to hear I learned how to drink like a normal human being! The past couple months I've been drinking very casually and cutting myself off after a small amount or a buzz kicks in. Hence, I've decided it truly is a matter of willpower and that the disease model of alcoholism need be thrown out.

Oh, and my girlfriend dumped me after I developed an addiction to OxyContin. I found its easier to drink moderately when you're fucked up on hillbilly heroin.

Cheers! - Duckhammer

Wow, Nintendorks is still around, eh? I was sure you guys had died... - HandiCapitalist

Trivia time!

Which state has the lowest highest point? - WelshCleats

Radio Shack sells video games? I think Dayton's givin' us the ol' runaround. God knows I'm not stepping inside of a Radioshack to find out. - wastingspace63

Hey, I was just wondering if you have heard of the game Mythos. Basically if you like Diablo you will like this game aswell. Its made by ex blizzard employees and its gunna be FREE!

But only free if you give me your credit card number. - SmotPoker

Oh har har. Let's ban Jim from the forum for a week and not explain to him why. Then, we'll have other people tell him why, and watch as it makes ZERO sense. I cannot believe me and Phlox were banned because of what we said. I never even said I hated the fucking thing, what a pointless ban.

At least I got a nameless shout-out on Nintendorks Radio. - Jim

Hey! - Navi

I wrote a screenplay for a class, and a featured location is "DeHart High School" - Mark

If peacocks roamed around your neighborhood, would you welcome them or shun them? - Bob Dolio

What do you know of Mice and Men? - Clay

Nintendorks was my homepage for over five years. I read that New Years letter you wrote hundreds of times. Imagine my excitement when it looked like the site was coming back, only to be disappointed day in and day out.

Two months ago, I change my homepage for the first time, and you guy come back only a few days later?

It's like high school all over again.

I'm going to listen to the Chronic and ragingly squeak at my parents for 2 hours. - MrOodles

soo last night I got drunk off the case of pacifico we gots... mmm I love me some mexican beer... anyways moral to the story I got drunk and then got laid... only problem is she spent the night :( - getupkid2004

If Emily's tri-force window was only "pretty" cool, then I'm only "pretty" old. - A Sad Pathetic Little Man

I'll second MLB Power Pros. I hate sports games, but that one was really fun. Part of the game is RPG, leading your player from the minors in an attempt to go pro. Then you have a team management system as well. All this, and you could play Wii Sports style, although I always preferred the simple button presses for the game.

Five Word Review : Baseball RPG? Fun, not complicated. - kindernoob

A few well overdue 5 word reviews:

No More Heroes: Cell-shaded lightsaber battles are sweet.

Zack and Wiki - Quest for Barbaros' Treasure: Monkey assistants make puzzles fun.

Sonic and the Secret Rings: Annoying theme song, never stops.

Dewy's Adventure: Awesome, because it's starring me. - Dewey

The end of semester has come, and while I sit in the computer lab and type this, people are frantically coming in looking for a computer to type a last minute paper on.

Yet I continue to hog this computer.

Does that make me a bad person? - rbtr

It's my birthday today! I'm 24! I'm sure you put my present in the mail already. - hero

Ah, they didn't want me back because they were concerned for my well-being. That's sweet. Way to let me down easy, Brandon, although you could've lied about that landslide loss a little more, as well. - Duckhammer

I played as Metaknight at the Brawl tournament last week. The first match I played was against a kid using Pit. I made a million mistakes and lost. It was double elimination so I was still in it. After that I calmed down and had a big string of wins. I ended up losing to a guy playing as Ike, I was being way too agressive.

It was only a five dollar buy in. First place got 60% of the pot, second 30%, and third 10%. - Selendrile

Phantom Hourglass.

$20

Radio Shack.

That is all. - DavidDayton

Don't be afraid, Brandon. Take my hand. Let us dance the dance of LIFE!

Oh, and it's nearly hooker killin' time! You saw that little bit of gameplay that got linked on the board, right? That game is going to be pure gold, my friend! Fox News is going to go ballistic! - SquirrelGOD

I might go to Tennessee this summer. What's there to do in Memphis? - Gus

I moved to Northern Virginia in February, but I haven't seen you yet. Can we be friends? - The Rinker

I have over 10k gold in WoW, what does that make me? - Opty

Brawl still hasn't been released in Australia yet. And they say we're not a third world country. - Impatient

So, in the $5 Footlong commercials, when the fake Godzilla man-in-suit makes the $5 Footlong hand sign thing, shouldn't instead the hand sign be Godzilla showing about inch between his thumb and index finger? Since, if man-in-suit Godzilla is truly large, the footlong sub would be tiny to him? - CNE

Umm... Considering that Lisa Loeb once starred in an E! channel reality show, and that hipsters only watch reality shows that appear on Bravo, I reject the assertion that she possesses any indie cred. That said, someone who sends DRCs in still probably doesn't have a realistic shot with her. - hipster

The new Islands album is pretty good. - Gorfious

Are you still writing stuff in Cold Fusion? I became a software developer since you guys have been gone and I spend most of my time in C#, Delphi, and ASP.net.

Did you guys write the site in ASP.net or PHP and the likes? I really like the site design, it feels almost like reading a newspaper. It feels very crisp. - Dazz07

I've got a 20 min oral exam in 6 hours with my professor. How do I guarantee an A? - DRZZY

I was going to come up with some really terrific way to honor your birthday, Brandon, but then I remembered that I was going to spend 8 hours of that day watching those hobbit movies and getting drunk at the Arlington Cinema Drafthouse. I wasn't sure how you would feel about that. If it makes you feel any better, I can promise to throw up onto some fans ugly, bare hobbit feet. - matthew

re: "I do to, but only because I won't have some jackass standing on the back of my kart."

My favorite part of Double Dash was using Mario and Baby Bowser in Waluigi's kart. I'd have Mario drive and constantly be pressing the item button because the horn sounded like a fart and Bowser's "I got no item!" dance always made me laugh.

I'd say go check it out yourself, but simply by making you aware of it I've over-hyped it completely. It's one of those things you have to catch by chance to be funny. Like the goomba powering up his swing in Mario Baseball. - dookie

What should I do with my life? (I can't rock.) - REVLIK

Who the hell is Ace Frehley? - Kid A

My roommate actually had me burn him like 4 Ace Frehley CDs... And he went to see him live. Apparently he almost caught on fire during the show. - yanca

im typing this drnuk and nakey - pepsiscrub

Happy Birthday DeHart. Obviously you leveled up in life. - Jbond64

ARGH first DRC for meee

Why do the forum gods hate me?

is the forum down or is my internet being stupid? - Smotang

Happy Birthday!

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song - Chargrock

Happy Birthday Brandon. I'll celebrate it with a beer for breakfast. - fake emily

I hope the Subspace Emissary doesn't get ridiculously hard once you get to the maze. I don't know if my wife would put up with it, and I have a hard enough time cajoling her to play with me as it is. And I'll never get the cat to play either. I should look into getting friends. - Mister of the Universe

Happy Birthday, Brandon! I attempted to mail you a cake but the mailman said I needed your credit card number before I could mail it to you, though, so it's sitting here on my counter not being eaten instead. - Opty

Does Trent truly need to pee in your butthole to be a true Nintendork? - Eric

Quoted directly from Sven, from the Dorktionary, from the Message Board Hall of Fame:

"Seven Flavors of Ass: I'm not sure if these are correct, but I have them saved on my computer nonetheless:

1. Cheddar
2. Salisbury Steak
3. Tabasco
4. Onion
5. Soy
6. Pumpernickel
7. Vannila Cream" - Magihiro

I defeated Kefka, so Final Fantasy VI is complete. Overall, a satisfying retro romp. I'll probably work on Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones next. - Gato

Why was Jason Priestley at the Mario Kart Wii Launch? Why does anyone care about him? Who said to themselves, "oh MAN JASON PRIESTLEY? Sign me up. SIGN ME UP FOR SOME OF THAT." Why was his hair so terrifying? - RubixsQube

I already had the gay once back in '82. Am I inoculated against this new strain of the gay? - Meatsim

shao kahn vs aquaman... FIGHT!! - Dazz07

If knowing is half the battle, what's the other half? - Kindernoob

Happy Birthday now? - A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Indiana Jones vs. John McClane? Sorry if that made your head explode. - SquirrelGOD

NQT and I now have something in common. We've both been drunk in Williamsport, PA. HOORAY! - hero

BAG! ANY SERIOUS QUESTIONS? Bag. Any serious questions? Allen Ginsberg. - pickle juice in a jar of water chestnuts

GO FLYERS!!! - Jamshid

So, if Duckhammer lost because of the Silent Majority, does that make the rest of us all Nixon? - llamapalooza

So my GIRLFRIEND decided to take a nap instead of have sex and now I am watching Lisa Lamponelli or whoever on TV while submitting a DRC to you instead of cuddling. Could this be a new low? I wish my Mr. Face shirt from cafepress still fit me. - Floydthebarber

I would never put my career before Nintendorks. - Soybean

What was the final score? Was it close? Perhaps the vocal people should have a tilt in the matter? To be honest, I just want to come back to lurk and pay back everyone who got my Wii out (whether they want it or not). It's a part of my new set of principles after saving a friend from suicide recently.

....On second thought, I've become a much better, happier person since leaving the board. CellPhoneGuy just brought out the worst in me, I swear. - Duckhammer

I swear to God, I'll pistol-whip the next guy that says shenanigans. - Capt. John O'Hagen

Damn... I remember in Middle School 1998... clicking on a link after using (holy crap) altavista (haven't used that since 99) for "Nintendo" and thinking that "Nintendorks" must be some stupid fansite that wouldn't be worth anything!

... and I was right!

Yet I stayed... visiting every day throughout middle school and high school, and then during College, Nintendorks went away, and yet here I am, a college graduate earning a measily 11 dollars an hour... and Nintendorks is back!

Well... sort of, at least. - Justin Miller

A Baseball Prospectus AND a '86 Mets reference in the same post? You guys are okay in my book.

I had no idea some of you were baseball dorks as well. - devo

Hey, I made some cool things. - Emily

I went to my first Smash Bros Brawl tourney this weekend. I placed 13th. I could've done better but I kept making stupid mistakes cause I was so damn nervous. - Selendrile

Level with me Brandon. Is it even possible to have enough indie cred for a chick like Lisa Loeb to dig me? And yes, I'm worried more about that than I am about fame. - ineptitude

Ok Brandon you rejected my first register attempt due to not liking my tag, "BallZthe3rd", either due to its stupidity or the fact my third ball makes you feel even more insecure about your lonely Lance Armstrong-esque uniball flapping in the wind.

So can you delete that account to free up my email so I can re-register with a more inspired name.

Also agree with you on the rice thing, I work with these Indian guys, they made me dinner one night and it was 3 pounds of rice with 2 chicken wings on top, damn you 3rd world cuisine!! - The DoucheBagger Vance

RSS please? - Pezmaster

Stupid friggin three red rings. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! - Ned the Head

Who is your favourite - Yasar

The Bowser Castle levels are by far the best levels in the Mario Kart series. By far. I think that the Double Dash incarnation is probably the highlight, but I have high hopes for the Wii course. - RubixsQube

oh shit drc's are back im sooo late - pepsiscrub

So here's the problem. Culdcept Saga has intrigued me and I'm glad you've introduced me to it. But... I'm worried it's like a gateway drug because I now find myself wanting to try other games with card battling that I've avoided before.

I'm afraid of the underground clientele I might run into. - Boris Stoke

When r u guys gonna make a new vershun of the game boys??!!!11!


Sorry, I always loved DRCs like this one. Welcome back. - Flagon

If anyone wants a baseball game for Wii, they should get MLB Power Pros. - Eldaron

If you're blue and you don't know where to go to. Why don't you go where fashion sits? PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ!!! - Taco

Don't give up hope so easily. Grab that friend of yours and instead of going to the pub go to the Verizon Center and do what I can't.... cheer for a team :( - Shakey

Yarr de dar de dar de dar! Top of the marnin', me hearties! I be the oyerish poirate.

Walk the plank and we'll get some Guiness! - The Oyerish Poirate

I signed up for forum access back in December and have yet to be granted said access. Have I done something wrong, or am I just FUBAR? - Beardo

TODAY IN NINTENDORKS HISTORY:

Nintendorks releases a transcript of their exclusive chat room where the staff spends three hours adding "in my pants" to various movie titles.

Simply Oscar-worthy. - chopsuey

Can you write my essay for me? - Dom

Blastcorps 360 DO ET!! - Brettimus

I don't think the Wii is supposed to be on it's side. It looks awkward, like a boxed-dvd set that hasn't been properly put away. It was meant to be held upright, with the assistance of CPC (Clear, Plastic Circle). Every console was. Although now I'm starting to wonder if this is why my PS1 never worked. - Dewey

Aww, someone noticed my extra special clever word use. I feel validated. - Emily

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU OLD ASS SON OF A BITCH! I TIP MY 40 TO YOU, SIR! - A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Have you seen those offbrand organic cereals with animal names? I always wanted some Peanut Butter Panda Puffs. - Gemini

Do you sometimes chew gum? - Magus

I tend to go with both steak and chicken on my chipotle burrito. It costs like a buck fifty extra but its worth it just to see the puzzled look on the college girls face as she tries to wrap my burrito up. Usually it splits and she is forced to rewrap it. I get a perverse pleasure from this. - Ned the Head

Pump up the volume. - Art Brut

I've been seeing more and more of those inspi(RED) shirts/blouses everywhere I go. They suck. You might even say I'm "ange(RED)" by this trend.

Ha. I need to work on better one-liners. :( - Eric

Throughout the course of the poll as to whether I return or not, tell them that everyone who votes for me will be sent a check for 40 dollars! - Duckhammer

I don't want to work. I have only the slightest motivation to play games, but none at my disposal. So instead I just sit at my computer looking at your site and hitting refresh until I fall asleep and then I cry when I wake up or when you do actually update. Or maybe I shout "Cat call!" at girls when they go by my window. - Framed Ship Bracelet

my name is lcpl lee and i love nintendorks because i am one and i love to eat the poo of chickens - chicken heads

Is it just me or does Wii Fit sound like a porno? - Tex813

Orange Soda (and anybody else who is getting bored of Smash Brothers Brawl) should start looking in the forums a little more often. We have online tournaments running, and will be starting some season play soon. You can post in the SSBB Online thread a few hours before you're ready to play, and I bet you'll find some folks to join you. Using the IRC #Studio64 is even faster!

Find your power cord, B. I want you to taste the sexy steel of my Master Sword. - CNE

No Brandon, no! At Chipotle you have to ask for EXTRA rice! Because it's so good! I agree with everything else, except I always get Guacamole too, and I have never thought to ask them to mix it up before wrapping it. That's a good idea. How do they mix it, do they have some mixing spoon they just never use unless asked, or do they use their hands? - Stolle

I have a degree in Journalism and if I don't write for this site it will have been a waste. - TinyBruce

I clicked on this link accidentally from my favorites and noticed it's... actually here. Afterward I was convinced I was transported to 1999 and no one told me. In fact I'm still not sure this hasn't happened. - BBM

Tell me, Brandon, will you be joining our grand hooker killing army when GTA IV is released? There's gonna be shenanigans! - SquirrelGOD

Okay...maybe I should play this Call of Duty one day. Everyone and their mother seems to like it. But don't any dorks play Team Fortress? Doesn't anyone like cake?! - MrCab

My wife bought me a NES Controller Belt but the belt was too long so I drilled some holes in it. Problem is I forgot to take the belt off first so now I can piss out of my naval. Advice?
- SerratedEdge

So, I've been too busy to get everyone organized to make a Nintendorks Super Smash Bros. Brawl FAQ. Then I realized, after I passed my comps, that smashbros.com did it all for us. Also, our attempt probably wouldn't have Masahiro Sakurai's cute way with the English language. - RubixsQube

Studio shenanigans have led to the realization that my G.I.Joe codename is Boo-Strike because it is a potentially awesome anagram of Boris Stoke.

Stumpy Joe is already an appropriate G.I.Joe name, though you could go by Stump Joey or even Jumpy Stoe. - Boris Stoke

I really need to find an industry job...college loans are looming around the corner. What do you think's the best way for me to get a job? - Opty

I am in a cabin in the woods of Williamsport, PA. i have been without internet for almost two weeks. then i realized my cell phone gets crappy internet. right now it's around 1am and i'm drunk, laughing, and happy. why? mostly its the cheap beer, but i'm simply elated that nintendorks is running at full force again. i feel nauseous. g'night! - notquitetony

Haha! Ewe deleted my account. It was funny and depressing so eye laughed and wept at the same thyme. - DJM79

Holy crap! When did you guys come back? Yoda-dog had been up for a very, very long time. Now there's all these updates! Has Hell frozen over, Brandon? Good to see you guys back, though... ;-D - 2Cold Scorpio

Wait, what was that thing matthew posted his drc from last week? - dookie

I hear I lost the poll. That sucks. Why was I so hated? I thought I was an alright guy. Anyway, if I'm not wanted back then I can't let it bring me down. Besides, I have my gf/writing career/etc to focus on. Thanks anyway, Brandon. - Duckhammer

Last night, I finally finished up Excitetruck. I have S ratings on all courses on all the cups in Excite, Super Excite and Mirror. I also got S ratings in the normal and super challenges. I have a remarkable sense of accomplishment. - Gato

"It's been five years since Kevyn and I joined the site, and look at all we've managed to live through - two site redesigns, massive downtime, and 37,000 penis jokes."

Of which 36,996 can be attributed to Ryan. Only they're not jokes. - Eric

Hey I remember this site, cool. - Qwil man

So I was talking to someone about how a friend's curiosity led her to peruse the "Men Seeking Men" section on craigslist one day. Before long, of course, she was treated to a goatse-esque photo of a man advertising his wares. I commented that "she was quite taken aback."

I then proceeded to completely lose all semblance of composure when the guy replied, "So was he."

P.S. How long have you guys been around now? Sheez. - Dhsu

Earlier today my girlfriend, in attempt to show off to her friends, decided to throw her cellphone at me directly in the balls, proceeding to make me writhe in pain, hunch over, get dizzy, and even throw up a little bit of this mucusy stuff. I got pissed at her and yelled at her, and she yelled back. However, her hot female friends proceeded to feel bad for me. My girlfriend left out of anger towards me, and I proceeded to receive lots of close care from all of her female friends for the rest fo the afternoon, which was awesome.

I'm not sure what the moral of this story was, but I was hoping you did. - Dewey

When Brawl came out, I played for two weeks straight. Then I went on Spring Break to my parents' house, and I didn't bring my Wii with me (a combination of my mother's paranoia about it getting stolen by some TSA guy and my mistaken idea that I'd actually have stuff to do during the day).

Aside from a few online matches requested by friends, I haven't played Brawl since before Spring Break, and haven't particularly desired it, either. Maybe I should see a doctor. - Orange Soda

The co-worker looking over my shoulder has this to say about the "Go Caps Go" heading on the main page: "You tell that man that you agree with him...do it...type it NOW." - TinyBruce

I might be wrong about this, but I think two of the seven flavors of ass were onion and pumpernickel. Vanilla and soy maybe as well? I think you only ever told us four, and the rest were a secret. You know, if we just ask people with relevant experience, we can get the rest of these flavors. - Bmano

Brandon, a Chipotle just opened about five minutes from where I live. I've been to pseudo Mexican places before, but never Chipotle, so I want a recommendation from you. - Chris the guy that writes stuff for the site

Okay, so Culdacept Saga should be here ON my birthday. Can you say digital board game birthday bash?

No? Oh. - Boris Stoke

Hey, I have my own TV show...would you like to play online scrabble with me? - carson daly

Is it supposed to be a coincidence that DRC sounds like dork if you try to say it out loud? - Mr. of the Universe

My wife and I found out we are going to be parents for the first time right before the DRCs came back.

Coincidence?

Yeah, probably. - Nintendork327

So are you planning on participating in the Call of Duty 4 whatever thingie weekend? I registered, downloaded the gamer picture, then told my wife I would be busy next weekend which was met with derision and scorn over giving up leaving the house to play a video game.

Mind you I think she's just jealous of my skills. She tried playing one day but that basically consisted of her pointing the gun in the general direction of anyone she saw, pushing the trigger and wiggling the joystick aimlessly in hopes she'd hit something. It was hilarious watching her die about 40 times in ten minutes though. - Ned the Head

Hey I forgot to ask. Whatever happened to the Hyrulean Loach video? My brother and I were just reminiscing about the laughter the rampant nerdiness in that thing brought us. - Ned the Head

I remember when I was on the website dressed like mario and I was a feature... good times 4 years ago... also I think i broke the data dorks thing :( - getupkid2004

I could have sworn the last DRC's title of "Go Caps go." was all lower case. I thought it was clever and a little ironic. I may have been drunk when I read them though. - Shakey

Hey! I actually went to Webster.com to look up 'inauspicious' and see if it had any extra meanings I didn't know about, and I learned that the whole concept of 'auspices' comes from bird watching. Extra nerd points for Emily! - ZoogzRift

If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. - Mark

Man, that last guy had no right saying that to you. What a dick. - SquirrelGOD

I bought Baroque for the WII thinking it might give me my RPG fill.... what a bad decision that was. Soooooo stupid. - Selendrile

Why do people love the Toxic Avenger so much? Troma blows. - SerratedEdge

It's 1:30 am, I have no intention of going ot bed anytime soon, and my primary concern is not the 11 pgs of HW due in three days that I have yet to start, but the fact that I have yet to beat Sub-space Emissary.

I may have a problem - []!

At the mall the other day there were Nintendo girls giving a demo of Wii fit. I bugged one until she gave me a Wii fit cap. It's captastic. - macaronic

In the Arrested Development banner, I can't recognize all the staffers... In fact, I think I can only recognize two. Should I feel ashamed? - Villian on the Cover

Brandon,

Can you reinstate my account? I blocked myself awhile back but I've never lost the urge to return. Reset my password for me and send it to me if you would. I have no idea how else to contact you effectively, so someone recommended I send in a drc.

~Brandon - Duckhammer

Don't worry stumpy, I got this. Dewey, you can have my clear plastic circle if you want it, I don't even use it. - kevnt

I'm in Palm Springs right now. Average age: 120. Average temperature: 120. How am I not seeing more corpses on the golf course? - Eric

Using the wheel in Mario Kart Wii only increases the amount of fun you are having with the game. It is like the opposite of snaking. Is this why self proclaimed 'hardcore gamers' don't like it? They don't like fun? I like fun. Do you like fun? - Malaclype

The current political situation is far too boring. We're in need of another good red scare, wouldn't you say? - EmeraldTheMaster

I saw a black man on a motorcycle today and it made me think of AJ. - Hungrywolf

2008, Brandon.

I hope you still enjoy me. Don't ever leave me half open on the table overnight again. - BeerCan

I think of all the off-brand cereal names out there, "Crispy Hexagons" is probably the lamest. I don't even want to worry about how many corners are on my cereal in the morning, I just want it to taste like "Crispix." Can't they come up with a better knock-off name for it, like "Krisp Hex" or something. It still implies the Hex shape, and replaces the "c" with a "k" whikh is now kool to do or so the internet tries to konvinke me. - PenguinRevolution

I've been trying my hand at homemade pizza recently, and I'm finding that it's pretty easy. It's almost like the "sandwich" of baking, in a sense that it's hard to screw up. You may not come up with the tastiest sandwich you've ever had, but hey, it's still a sandwich.

My one big problem is that my crust tends to come out a little uneven in places. This is probably because I'm too lazy to do that thing where you THROW the dough in the air and catch it etc. I just spread some corn meal over a cookie sheet and try to mold the dough to the sheet. (The corn meal helps prevent the dough from sticking to the pan. I also have a trick where I spread grated parmesan on the crust to give it that "DiGiorno" look.)

Right now I'm looking for a good pizza sauce recipe. I found one that's tasty, but a little too rich, and the fennel gives it a sausagey flavor that I don't really want. Any suggestions?

P.S. Huzzah for the site being up and all that. - R.O.B.